Soap actress Hayley Tamaddon revealed that after the birth of her son, she had' dark thoughts' and' fought internally.'
The Coronation Street and actress Emmerdale bravely expressed their motherhood challenges to encourage more women to reach out and ask for help.
Four months ago, the 43-year-old soap actress adopted her son Jasper after being told she couldn't conceive.
Taking to Instagram, though, the actress revealed that her experience in being a new mother had not been as secure as it seemed.
She wrote: "In parenting / new mums, I want to speak a little about mental health. We're in the 4th sleep regression at the moment. A few weeks and we should be out of it, but it was rough for my dad. And I certainly have battled mentally.
"I love him, my Father! He is such a happy child. He's so crazy! He doesn't complain. If we carry him out, he's as good as gold. But instead of the night? It is like I gave birth to the demon from Tasmania!
EOLBREAK" It was terrific last night. I've had four solid hours. Quick vision feed a few more .. And so forth
The actress also admitted that she had a particularly tricky weekend night with Jasper saying: "It was awful on Saturday night. Most of the screams were from me. I'm ripped to pieces. Tired really.
"I'm not looking for sympathy. I know it's going to be better and it's just a step. That's not why I write this…"She went on:" I'm writing it to other moms/parents who feel sad, helpless, sound like they can't cope at 4 a.m. because their kid won't go to sleep, to those who wake up in tears this morning asking how you're going to get through the day.
"What am I doing differently for the single parents, the mums who think? How does he wake up each time I put him back in his crib?
"You pick them up, re-start, put them down, you've got 40 minutes, and then they're waking up. Next, Maybe the same as me. They all end up with you in bed! Then the mother confessed:' I need/want more courage. I don't wish to dark thoughts. I don't want to hit my head on the wall. But The privation of sleep is true. And it's hard."[sic]
Perhaps you're reading this post. "Blessed is not my kid like this" or.. "My kid is sleeping right through" I'm saluting you! Well, achieved-This is excellent!
"But for many of us… that's not the case. Each child is different. Everybody's circumstances are different."[ sic] She then added:" Where parenting and maternity are involved, there needs to be more transparency… it's okay to ask for support. It's okay to admit you still fail. You don't have to say you're all right when you're not.
"If you have a psychiatric illness… Say, somebody. Try and get out and meet other mums if you can.
"It's also vital for me to write down all this. They have to help each other. It's just so necessary. And yes, please… Remember going out on your own. You're doing a brilliant job, "a red-heart emoji accompanied. Hayley told her fans back in April last year that she was pregnant with her first child after fighting infertility, aged 42.
She tweeted: "Exciting Update Post!!" I'm so pleased to tell you all. My first boyfriend, Adrian, is waiting for me!!
